How to compliment someone without referring to their physique.
Body image is a personal thing.
I’d like to start this blog entry by saying that as a masters athlete and a nutrition coach I still do not have a perfect relationship with my body. I too, look at my body and pick it apart daily. Nothing about it is ever good enough, but everyday I learn to silence that voice in my head more and more.
I want you to know, that I too am learning, to accept the many flaws that I see every time I look in a mirror. I also want you to know that whatever struggles you are experiencing emotionally are valid. I understand that just because something isn’t real, doesn’t mean that it won’t feel real to you. I honour your pain.
I have met individuals with extremely low body fat that didn't love their bodies. I have met individuals with above average body fat that didn't love their bodies.
It was never about what they looked like, it was their relationship with their bodies and food.
What was clear was that an individual’s physical appearance did not determine both their physical and mental health.
A person’s body image is very personal to them. I spent years hating my body but suffered in silence because I knew that if I said anything I’d get shut down. Skinny people can have body insecurities too. Struggling with body image can happen to just about anyone with any body type.
Although it might seem counterintuitive, when attempting to reassure someone, avoid commenting on how great they look. Saying things like
"you shouldn’t feel like that, You're so skinny" can only make someone feel as if their feelings aren't valid. Instead listen, and comment on something rather than their physical appearance.
Here are few things you could comment on:
Their strength
How motivated they are
How determined they are
How they inspire you
I’ve made a few mistakes along the way. I too am learning. In the process of learning I have found that asking someone how you can help, can potentially open up conversations and give them a platform to discuss some of their struggles.
So the next time you hear someone picking apart their bodies, don’t shut them down, just listen and be that safe space for them, you never know, you could be that support they were waiting for.
